幽默英語(yǔ)小短劇篇一：英語(yǔ)短劇(三人)搞笑

改編自《兩小兒辯日》

(J:Jack P:Petter S:stranger)

獨(dú)白：The story happened in a sunny day.Two friends meet each other. J:Hi,nice to see you,Petter.

P:Nice to see you,Jack.It`s a good day ,isn`t it?

J:Yeah,I like sunny days.

P:Look,what`s this?

J:Oh,it`s our luck day.It`s 100 dollar.

P:Yes, it is.So what should we do to the money?Give it to uncle police? J:I don`t think so.I suggest one of us can have it.Since it is in my hand,so…

P:No ,I don`t think so.I think I find it first,I am the person that who should have the money.

J:Look at that person.Why don`t we ask him to judge it for us. P:I agree.

J:Hello,could you please do us a favour?

S:Ofcourse.What`t up?

J:Here is the thing,……

S:Isee.It`s really a hard question.Let me think.en…OK,I get an idea.Now I`ll give you one question and the one who can give the correct answer that can have the money.What do you think?

P:Why not.

J:Let do it.

S:Now you must listen to me carefully.Look at the sun,it`s beautiful isn`t it?And it`s very far from us.So my question is when is the sun farther away from us,in the morning or at noon?You first.

P:It`s easy.As we can see,in the morning the sun is very big and at noon it become smaller.So,the answer is at noon

J:That is the most stupid answer I have ever heard.As we can feel ,in the morning it`s cool and at noon it`ll be very hot.That is because the sun is farther away from us at morning.

爭(zhēng)吵

S：OK.Stop.Stop.As a matter of fact,each of your answer is incorrect.I think the range is the same.

P:Are you crazy?Let me tell you something?(到一邊，拿出50美元)If you make me win,it`s yours.

S:(think for a while).It`s a deal.(回到原地) I am sorry,I made a mistake just now.I`ll correct my answer.Petter is right.The answer is at noon.

J:What?We need to talk.(拉路人到一邊)I did not catch your mean clearly.Could you say it again?

S:The sun isfarther away from usat noon.So you are wrong.

J:(打過(guò)路人)Did you change your mind?

S:No…Oh yes.You are right.Obviously,he was wrong.

(一起回去)

P：What`s wrong with your face?

J:清嗓子

S:I just fall over by accident,nevermind.And let`s go back to the question ,I think it over and over again.Finally I believe Jack is right.You were wrong.

J:(Jack從petter手中搶過(guò)錢)Then it`s mine.(k(來(lái)自:www.huhawan.com 蒲公英文摘:幽默英語(yǔ)小短劇)iss it) It`s nice to meet you ,petter.Goodbye.

P:What?Don`t go.(jack下) What`s wrong with you?

S:I `m sorry,Ijust…..

J:Give me my money,now.

(路人拿出錢，jack一把搶過(guò)來(lái)，生氣地走了)

S：（jack走后，路人掏掏口袋發(fā)現(xiàn)）Where is my own 100 dollar.Give me my money.(追jack)

完

幽默英語(yǔ)小短劇篇二：荊軻刺秦王(搞笑英語(yǔ)小話劇,英語(yǔ)及翻譯)

《荊珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

很久以前，有一個(gè)瘋狂的國(guó)家，在這個(gè)瘋狂的國(guó)家有一些瘋狂的人，試圖用瘋狂的方式展示瘋狂的歷史。荊軻是最有名的劍客并被派去殺清王，嬴政。但最后他失敗了。你想知道當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么事？好吧，下面將會(huì)告訴你真相。

Action I

太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?

鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，這個(gè)世界上最漂亮的人是誰(shuí)？(畫外音：是你，太子丹！)謝謝你的鏡子！我是太子丹，魔鏡說(shuō)我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一個(gè)嫉妒的家伙，我覺(jué)得如果鏡子告訴他真相他會(huì)殺了我。我很害怕。我該怎么辦呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三: Honey, I am coming.

親愛的，我來(lái)了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most

beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

我告訴過(guò)你一次又一次，你應(yīng)該叫我“我最美麗的、優(yōu)雅、英俊、迷人、可愛、聰明和最親愛的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 當(dāng)然，親愛的！我有一個(gè)好主意。我們可以找一個(gè)英雄去殺嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

歐耶！二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但誰(shuí)是合適的人選？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

經(jīng)過(guò)篩選后我手上有兩個(gè)有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一個(gè)是荊軻先生。明天他們將PK為世界頭號(hào)殺手。

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

好的，給我盡快得主，好嗎？

阿三：Yes.

Action II

荊軻：Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁：Yes.

荊軻：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.

好的。我是荊軻，你知道，我會(huì)讓你知道我是世界頭號(hào)殺手之王。

李莫愁：Are you challenging me?

你想挑戰(zhàn)我嗎？

荊軻：Off course!

李莫愁：Come on!

李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

發(fā)生了什么？你為什么不疼？

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? 贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

媽媽常說(shuō)：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永遠(yuǎn)不知道你會(huì)得到什么�！拔颐靼琢�，媽媽是對(duì)的。

太子丹：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

哦，天哪！你能給我一個(gè)創(chuàng)新的回答“你好嗎？”？

荊柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too! May I have your name card, please?

哦，我也是在開玩笑呢！我可以要一張你的名片嗎？

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荊柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荊柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

IC、ID、IQ卡？

荊柯：I am very very busy now!

阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.

看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你說(shuō)好的，她就是你的。

荊柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!

我不得不說(shuō)她是一個(gè)非常性感美麗的女孩，但中醫(yī)是我唯一的愛！

阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯：Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.

嘿，兄弟！你這么聰明，但為什么你不知道中醫(yī)？任何人都可以給你答案。 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM.

傳統(tǒng)的中國(guó)美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.

我必須告訴你的王牌。女士們，先生們，這是立頓減肥茶。這是一個(gè)全新的聯(lián)合利華中國(guó)產(chǎn)品。

荊柯：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.

減肥茶！我夢(mèng)想它數(shù)千次。我的妻子總是威脅說(shuō)要離開我，如果我不能減輕我的體重。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?

你想得倒好？假如你想要！你為什么保持沉默？你為什么看著我？雖然你很有誠(chéng)意，我很高興，你還是要說(shuō)出來(lái)。你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要？ 荊柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

告訴我，我應(yīng)該做什么？我會(huì)為你做任何事。

Action III

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.

英雄，我們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了沂水河。

荊珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends

就停在這里。再見，我的朋友

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.

荊珂：Darling, I love you.

妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world! 我愛你。對(duì)我而言，你比這個(gè)世界上的任何東西都更有意義。

荊珂：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.

我更愛你。哪怕是世界末日我都會(huì)愛著你。

妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.

怎么樣。作為一個(gè)男人，就去做！我會(huì)一直在這里等你。

荊珂：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise

親愛的！你一定要幫我這個(gè)忙?答應(yīng)我你會(huì)活下去?你絕不會(huì)放棄?不管發(fā)生什么事?無(wú)論多么的絕望?現(xiàn)在就答應(yīng)我，永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記你的承諾

妻子："I promise."

荊軻："Never let go. “

永不放棄

妻子："I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."

妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 這是一個(gè)去死的好日子。再也回不來(lái)了。不......從未......

妻子：Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.

謝謝你.當(dāng)我得到人壽保險(xiǎn)1000000美元，我將把它的一半，500000美元到您的帳戶。

阿三：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng. 然后荊軻送往秦，最終被嬴政殺了。

幽默英語(yǔ)小短劇篇三：英語(yǔ)三人短劇 搞笑

顧客：小心，你的大拇指在我湯里了

服務(wù)員：別擔(dān)心，先生，不是很燙！

A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!

B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!

一個(gè)服務(wù)員給顧客拿來(lái)了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。

“你瘋了嗎？”顧客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”

“什么？”服務(wù)員說(shuō)，“你想讓它再掉地上？”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak? (What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again? 服務(wù)員：茶或咖啡？先生。

第一個(gè)顧客：我要茶

第二個(gè)顧客：我也是茶——杯子要干凈的！

服務(wù)員：兩杯茶，哪個(gè)要干凈的杯子？

B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?

A:I'll have tea.

C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!

(Waiter exits returns)

B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

創(chuàng)新句子：我堅(jiān)持用干凈杯子喝茶。

服務(wù)員，這只蒼蠅在我湯里干什么？

看起來(lái)象是在仰泳，

A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?

Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...

服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別擔(dān)心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛會(huì)干掉它。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

服務(wù)員，我湯里有只蒼蠅！

不是，先生，那是蟑螂，蒼蠅在你牛排里。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak.

服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

別讓別人看見，先生，要不別人都要。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.

服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

我知道，先生，我們沒(méi)有另收錢。

A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!

C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!

服務(wù)員，湯里有只蒼蠅！

對(duì)不起，先生，我弄走那三個(gè)時(shí)忘了這個(gè)。

A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!

B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three. 服務(wù)員，湯里有只死蒼蠅！

是的，先生，是開水殺死了它們。

A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!

C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them.

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