學(xué)校啊，當(dāng)我把我的孩子交給你，你保證給他怎樣的教育？今天清晨，我交給你一個歡欣誠實又穎悟的小男孩兒，多年以后，你將還我一個怎樣的青年？ 　　――引自《我交給你一個孩子》
　　今年４月，山東沂水一位中學(xué)生揮刀砍向他的親人：他年邁的奶奶、臥病在床的父親均傷在他的刀下。他不堪學(xué)習(xí)重壓，僅僅因瑣事發(fā)生的一點爭吵，就令他煩躁不已，以至喪失理性，暴露出猙獰的一面。
　　事發(fā)不久，北京再上演悲劇。一位母親慘死于還在讀中學(xué)的兒子手下。
　　這些年，類似的事件時有所聞。這些孩子到底怎么了？每一次追問，人們都會找出許許多多的答案。令人欣喜的是，有一種答案正在得到越來越多的認同：我們對孩子的心理問題關(guān)注得太少了。
　　人們習(xí)慣上只把健康理解為一個生理概念，以為身體沒病即是健康，其實，現(xiàn)代的人們對生命質(zhì)量有著更高要求，不但沒有身體的缺陷和疾病，還要生理健康、心理健康和社會適應(yīng)良好，即所謂身心俱健。正如“人”字的一撇一捺，一筆之缺，即會偏離生命航線，甚至觸礁、毀滅。
　　
　　他們?yōu)楹尾挥淇?
　　
　　在成年人眼里，現(xiàn)在的孩子無疑是幸福的，但孩子自己的評價卻大相徑庭，有相當(dāng)比重的孩子并沒有幸福感。在一個有44名小學(xué)生的班里，有17位同學(xué)說自己的心情不愉快，20位同學(xué)說有時愉快、有時不愉快。
　　心理健康的主要標(biāo)準(zhǔn)之一，是具有穩(wěn)定而愉快的情緒，如此多的學(xué)生感到不愉快，應(yīng)當(dāng)引起足夠的警覺。
　　一位８歲的小姑娘最羨慕她奶奶的退休生活，因為不用寫作業(yè)；濟南市一位小學(xué)三年級學(xué)生為家庭作業(yè)所累，氣呼呼地告訴他的父親：死了多好，就沒有作業(yè)了！
　　厭學(xué)、自卑、考試焦慮……中小學(xué)生的許多心理問題因?qū)W習(xí)壓力過重而起。據(jù)山東省未成年犯管教所的調(diào)查，絕大多數(shù)未成年人的犯罪道路是從討厭學(xué)習(xí)開始的。
　　山東省精神衛(wèi)生中心主任醫(yī)師、中國心理衛(wèi)生協(xié)會兒童心理衛(wèi)生專業(yè)委員會委員翟靜率領(lǐng)的課題組對濟南市兩所重點中學(xué)初中一年級28個班的1667名學(xué)生進行了調(diào)查，結(jié)果表明:59.3％的學(xué)生存有厭學(xué)情緒。以前，不愿上學(xué)的孩子主要是小學(xué)生和初中生，有的是因為膽子小，有的是因為對挫折的承受能力比較弱，學(xué)習(xí)有困難。但現(xiàn)在學(xué)生的厭學(xué)情緒就很普遍了，不光小學(xué)生、初中生高中生厭學(xué)，連大學(xué)生也厭學(xué)；不光學(xué)習(xí)不好的孩子不愿意學(xué)習(xí)，有些考試第一名的孩子也出現(xiàn)厭學(xué)情緒。翟靜說，社會競爭加劇，學(xué)習(xí)壓力過重，使一部分學(xué)生喪失了學(xué)習(xí)的樂趣，失去了內(nèi)在的學(xué)習(xí)動力。
　　上海一所英國國際學(xué)校的經(jīng)理將中國的高考比作學(xué)生的夢魘、家長的噩夢。她說，高考的巨大壓力，使中國的兒童沒有童年。家長望子成龍、望女成鳳，有的從孩子上幼兒園就開始加壓。一些學(xué)校唯考分至上、升學(xué)率至上，不顧及學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)心理，作業(yè)沉重，考試不斷。雙層擠壓之下，學(xué)習(xí)成了孩子的苦役。有位中學(xué)老師用一句“七上八下”的俗語明確地告訴他的學(xué)生：每天睡七個小時的同學(xué)才能考上大學(xué)，睡八個小時的考不上。為了考大學(xué)，一些學(xué)生甚至用濃茶、咖啡強打精神，挑燈夜戰(zhàn)。
　　德州民營企業(yè)家黃鳴一次談判之余，與德國的合作伙伴談起教育問題。他對德國朋友說：“我的女兒早上６點起床，７點準(zhǔn)時出門。重要的是，你知道她什么時候回來嗎？”德國朋友狠了狠心，猜了個3點半。這顯然不會是正確答案。他繼續(xù)以半個小時的幅度猜下去，加到晚上８點時，他再也不敢往下猜了，那口氣似乎孩子遭到了綁架。黃鳴告訴他：“我的孩子最早晚上１０點半回來，而且回到家還要寫作業(yè)�！眹樀玫聡�朋友連連搖頭。他說：“學(xué)習(xí)本是人生需要，但過重的學(xué)習(xí)壓力和不考慮學(xué)生興趣、特長的教學(xué)方法，摧毀了人們的內(nèi)在學(xué)習(xí)動力，也失去了學(xué)習(xí)的樂趣，它使人們放棄了追求真理、探究世界的精神，于個人、于民族都是悲劇。”
　　心理學(xué)家研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，相當(dāng)一部分學(xué)生的不良情緒是由學(xué)習(xí)壓力過大造成的，有的甚至因此導(dǎo)致較嚴(yán)重的心理疾病。濟南市有一位１０歲的小學(xué)生，很聰明，也很好學(xué)，父母對其管教非常嚴(yán)厲。因為一次考試考得不夠理想，遭到老師和家長的批評。孩子從此開始厭學(xué)，一聽說要上學(xué)，就哭鬧、嘔吐、腹痛，怕見同學(xué)，經(jīng)常把自己關(guān)在家里。
　　
　　自信，在斥責(zé)聲中消失
　　
　　有位很優(yōu)秀的留美學(xué)者，說起他的美國同事非常感慨：即使他們做得不怎么樣，他們也會說自己是最棒的。
　　如果說幽默是良好性情的內(nèi)核的話，那么自信就是健全人格的核心了。一個人如果缺乏自信，非但在學(xué)習(xí)和工作上難以取得成功，在生活中也很難有幸福感。但我們的教育恰恰忽視了培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的自信心。
　　孩子在幼兒園時，總會得到許多表揚，一旦進入小學(xué)，成人們就像換了一副眼鏡，他們總是希望孩子們能有完美的表現(xiàn)，稍有差距，即會斥責(zé)。一些孩子從此開始了灰頭土臉的生活，他們的自信心因此被一點點蠶食。
　　在傳統(tǒng)教育理念中，懲罰一直占有重要地位。雖然一些學(xué)生所犯的錯誤只是一些雞毛蒜皮的小事，但一些老師卻不善于從積極的方面引導(dǎo)，往往簡單化地一味斥責(zé)。一些教師恨鐵不成鋼，出于督促學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)、糾正其不良習(xí)慣的本意，用懲罰的手段對待他們的錯誤，殊不知，這種簡單的教育方式可能會對學(xué)生心理造成嚴(yán)重傷害。
　　北京師范大學(xué)心理學(xué)院教授鄭日昌認為，成人對孩子期望過高，保護過度，管制過嚴(yán)，特別是負性評價過多，會影響孩子的自我評價，挫傷其自尊心和自信心，使孩子或者膽小退縮、經(jīng)不起挫折，或者兇狠殘暴，對他人和社會充滿敵意，表現(xiàn)出極大的攻擊性和破壞性。兒童心理最突出的問題，是由學(xué)習(xí)困難和自身性格等因素所引起的。學(xué)習(xí)上有困難的學(xué)生經(jīng)常被教師和家長指責(zé)，視為無能兒、低能兒。來自外界的種種批評、不信任、猜測，強烈地傷害著兒童的自尊心，久而久之，形成怯懦、膽小的性格。山東師范大學(xué)附屬小學(xué)教師趙琨說：“自卑還是自信，直接影響著對人生的態(tài)度，制約著個體的自我發(fā)展。家長和教師要善于發(fā)現(xiàn)兒童的優(yōu)點，及時表揚，長期堅持下去，逐步開啟兒童的自信�！�
　　
　　有愛，生命才會美麗
　　
　　近年來，校園悲劇時有發(fā)生。有些挫折和打擊，在成人看來可能算不上什么，但卻往往引起一些學(xué)生心理的巨大波動。別人看似漫不經(jīng)心的一句話，就會在一些學(xué)生心中埋下仇恨的種子，令人難以置信地形成人際關(guān)系的緊張。
　　雖然，類似事件只是發(fā)生在個別有嚴(yán)重心理障礙或心理疾病的學(xué)生身上，但心理問題卻是每一位學(xué)生隨時都可能遇到的。在學(xué)習(xí)、生活、人際交往和自我意識等方面，他們可能會遇到或產(chǎn)生這樣那樣的心理問題，如果不能及時解決，將會對他們的健康成長產(chǎn)生不良影響，嚴(yán)重的會出現(xiàn)行為障礙或人格缺陷。據(jù)山東省精神衛(wèi)生中心主任醫(yī)師翟靜的研究，目前，厭學(xué)、人際關(guān)系緊張、情緒不穩(wěn)定、社會適應(yīng)能力差等心理問題比較普遍地影響著學(xué)生的身體和心理健康。
　　著名心理學(xué)家、北京師范大學(xué)教授林崇德提出，教育的目標(biāo)是培養(yǎng)全面發(fā)展的人，全面發(fā)展包括身、心兩個方面都得到健康發(fā)展。他認為，健康不僅是傳統(tǒng)意義上身體健康，還包含良好的精神狀態(tài)、健全的適應(yīng)社會的能力。北京師范大學(xué)心理學(xué)院教授鄭日昌將人的素質(zhì)二分為身體素質(zhì)和心理素質(zhì)，相應(yīng)地將教育二分為體育和心育。
　　中小學(xué)生越來越多的心理問題，引起了全社會的關(guān)注。上世紀(jì)80年代，心理健康教育在一些省市陸續(xù)開展起來。如今，全國許多中小學(xué)校都設(shè)立了心理咨詢室，有的還配備了專職的心理輔導(dǎo)教師，對學(xué)生心理素質(zhì)的提高發(fā)揮了一定作用。但在應(yīng)試教育的條件下，面對升學(xué)的巨大壓力，在一些人眼里，心理健康教育還只是一項可有可無的工作。有的人不承認一些學(xué)生存在心理健康問題，或者把心理健康問題簡單地看作思想品德問題、缺乏法制觀念等，試圖用老一套辦法解決新時期的新問題。有的學(xué)校把復(fù)雜問題簡單化，在硬件設(shè)施上做文章，搞形式主義的花架子。有的人把心理健康教育知識化，熱衷于編課本、講概念、考條條，甚至企圖通過教學(xué)解決學(xué)生的心理問題。
　　老師一句鼓勵的話甚至一個微笑，可能會使一個“落后學(xué)生”走出自卑的陰影，樹立起自信心，從而改變一生；老師的一次嘲諷，可能傷及一個好學(xué)生的自尊心，使其產(chǎn)生對他人、對社會的敵對情緒。鄭日昌教授認為，心理健康教育是學(xué)校、家庭、社區(qū)及媒體的共同任務(wù)，作為學(xué)校來說，心理健康教育要面向所有學(xué)生，教職員工全員參與，將其滲透在學(xué)校的各科教學(xué)和日常管理之中。他說：“接納學(xué)生，尊重學(xué)生，以學(xué)生為本，是心育成功的關(guān)鍵�！�
　　
　　School, when I entrust my child to you, what kind of education can you promise to give him? This morning, I gave you a happy, honest, and smart boy. Many years later, what a kind of young man will you return to me?
　　In April this year, a secondary school student of Yishui in Shandong Province went crazy and cut his family members with a knife. His old grandmother and his father lying in bed for sickness were both wounded by his knife. The reason why he went crazy is that he could not put up with the heavy pressure of studies. Therefore, just because of some trivial affair, he quarreled with his family members, which made him so stressed out that he lost his reason and committed the crime.
　　People are used to regarding health as a physiological concept, always thinking that health only means having a body free of sickness. In fact, modern human beings have higher requirements when it comes to the quality of life. Thus, “good health” means not only physiological health (a body free of defects and sickness), but also psychological health (of the mind and emotions) and the ability to adapt to society and live harmoniously with others.
　　In the eyes of some adults, children of the present-day are happy. However, appraisals received from the children themselves are very different. Many children do not feel happy at all. In one primary school class with 44 students, 17 children reported that they rarely have happy feelings; and 20 children said they are sometimes happy and sometimes not.
　　Recently, a research group headed by Zhai Jing, a chief physician at Shandong Mental Sanitation Center and a member of the Children Psychological Sanitation Committee of the China Psychological Association, has made an investigation among 1667 students from 28 classes of junior grade one at two key secondary schools in Jinan. The results reveal that 59.3% of the students are school-weary. Zhai Jing says that the aggravated social competition and overwhelming study pressure have made part of the students lose their interest in study and inner motivation to study.
　　Research by psychologists reveals that some part of the bad mood of the students is caused by overly heavy study pressure, which in some cases can even cause serious psychological illness. There is one case in Jinan of a normal ten-year old primary school student, who used to be very clever and fond of learning. His parents were very strict with him and had high expectations for him. On one occasion, however, because he failed to do as well as expected on one particular examination, he was severely criticized by his teacher and parents. As a result, the boy became school-weary. Now, upon hearing that it’s time to go to school, he will cry, vomit, have diarrhoea, and is afraid to see his classmates. What he often does is to close himself up at home.
　　An outstanding scholar returning from the United States often sighs with emotion when talking about his overseas colleagues. In the United States, even if their achievements are very ordinary, they always assert that they themselves are the best.
　　If humor is the core of a good mood, then self-confidence is the core of a healthy personality. If a person lacks self-confidence, he will neither be successful in studies, nor in life, because he will not feel happy in daily living. The Chinese system of education happens to neglect to cultivate self-confidence in our students.
　　In the kindergarten, children always obtain a lot of praise and encouragement. However, once they are admitted to primary school, adults, as if putting on a different pair of colored glasses, suddenly expect children to behave perfectly all the time. Once they make even a minor mistake, the children are chided, sometimes harshly. As a result, the self-confidence of the children will be eroded little by little.
　　In the traditional idea of education, punishment has always taken up an important position. Though the mistakes made by some students are minor, some teachers often attempt to educate them by the simple means of confrontation and criticism, rather than correction Ñ directing them towards the positive aspects and showing them the proper way to arrive at the right conclusion. This kind of educational method may bring about serious damage to the psyche of the students, for they may come to see themselves as incapable of learning.
　　Zheng Richang, a professor at the Psychology School of Beijing Teachers’ University, thinks that adults usually have expectations that run too high for most children, while also exerting contradictory pressures on the children by being both overly protective and overly strict in their controls. Sometimes, overwhelming negative appraisals from the adults will also exercise negative influences on the self-appraisals of the children and hurt their self-esteem and self-confidence, making the children timid and less inclined to risk the failures that normally result from creativity.
　　In addition, the children sometimes become fierce and malicious or hostile towards others in their families, in their classrooms and in society, exhibiting an aggressive and destructive character. The most prominent psychological problems of children are caused by their difficulties in studies and their own character. Students that have difficulties in study are often chided by their teachers and parents, and sometimes are even regarded as inept and retarded children. Such outside criticisms may lead to a lack of confidence, hurt the self-esteem of the children, and gradually will make their character become cowardly and timid.
　　Zhao Kun, a teacher at the Primary School affiliated with Shandong Teachers’ University, says: “For a child to be self-abased or self-confident, directly exerts a tremendous influence on his attitude towards life and either restrains or enhances his self-development as an individual person. Parents and teachers should be good at discovering children’s merits and praise them accordingly. Praise appropriately and consistently given will gradually lead to increased self-confidence in children.”
　　In recent years, adversities have frequently happened in schools. In the eyes of adults, some defeats and attacks may mean almost nothing; however, the perception by the pupils themselves might be quite different, for the treatment they receive from parents and teachers always has a heavy impact on the psychology of the students. A word that means nothing to adults sometimes will sow hostile seeds in the heart of students, and these seeds will grow until they finally bring about strained personnel relationships.

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